When I was young, there are 3 things that I believe in: Dreams. Honesty. Love. And even though they are being challenged every day now, those things are still the things I seek.
Part 6: Vesak Day
It was a strange day. It was as if Buddha was talking to me today. And I know it’s impossible because he already passed away and reached nirvana like 2500 years ago, and unlike Jesus or the Backstreet Boys, he aint making a come back. But it was strange
I realized today in this celebration of Buddhist worldwide for the life of Buddha, that I’m among the lousiest Buddhists ever. I swear like hell. I eat everything meat related. I occasionally tapped people’s internet. I drank a lot. And I watch porn. No virtuous Buddhists would do all that. But I did. So I kept myself clean at least for today.
The weird thing is, it’s not that hard. And I got through today consciously mindfully take care of whatever I say, do or even think. I amended a lot of things that are not right in my life. Hell I even bought my own router and have my own internet set up. It was not hard. I thought it was, but the part where we wanted to do it and set out to fix things, it’s the hard part. With the power of the mind, there’s nothing you cant do. At least Buddha say so. Have some faith!
So I went to this temple in Joo chiat (which is the red light district at night with lots of Vietnamese chicks). Anyway it was really crowded and all at the temple. Glad to know it’s not a dying religion like a lot people thought. And I prayed for my parents. It was weird. Because when I was young Buddha to me is like god almighty, he has all the super powers. I prayed to him I would study well. I prayed I’d be happy and rich. Hell I even prayed my grand mother didn’t have to die. None had come true. But today when I was there having a hard time finding something to pray about, I realized, I’m such a lucky bastard. I’m contented with my life and there’s not a lot more I would wish for super power to fix. And those that I’m not contented with, at least I know how to fix them. So in the end I went with “Please keep my parents safe, healthy and happy”, which, again, is the strangest thing coming out from me if you ask me.
So yah, I’m a proud a Buddhist. I was born in a Buddhist family, but I chose to be a Buddhist. And I might go to hell or whatever, but the truth is, I don’t want heaven and promises after death. I want my life, here and now, treasuring every moment, fixing everything that is wrong and doing good things to people around me.
I know there’s a long way to go for me to be a Buddhist. But Buddha lost 40 years to find enlightenment, so maybe I just barely started.
Happy Vesak day Buddha. May you be well and happy! 