When I was young, there are 3 things that I believe in: Dreams. Honesty. Love. And even though they are being challenged every day now, those things are still the things I seek.
Part 7a:Let’s talk about work
This is weird. I’m writing about work when I’m enjoying my weekend. Normally I’m the type of person that maintains a perfectly fine work life balance. But since I have no time to talk about work at work, I shall talk about work at home. And since you all are probably bored with all my ranting about the work, I shall talk about the people.
There’s Alvin, up and coming Alvin. He’s this really bright guy who’s been through a lot as a person and who i really look up to. He’s a different type of Singaporean, who is down to earth and who stays true to his words. He just left our division to join another, which made me feel like I lost a close priest whom I can make confessions too. But it’s for a better picture, a greater good.
There’s Arina, who I told you to be this very earthly mother and at the same time funky woman. She’s very typical housewife when it comes to family and yet amazingly good when it comes to business. Her husband sent her a really nice bouquet of flowers for their wedding anniversary and guess what, she forgot about it. She must have been the luckiest woman to have such sweet husband.
There’s Karen, who is leaving. She’s the IT person and she loves programming. She’s leaving this job for her dreams. It’s sad because she’s kind and her laughters always cheer people up. it’s even sadder because now her successor might be leaving too and I’m like the only IT person left in the company. I’m too busy as it is with my part, I will have a nervous breakdown if I have to handle hers.
So then I look at myself. Sometimes I just feel incredibly motivated. Others I just feel incredible frustrated. It’s like design is the only thing I know how to do well. And everyday at work with people telling me what to do, it’s starting to feel as if even the thing I do best I’m not doing it good enough. Sometimes it pisses me off so much that I KNOW what is good and yet I have to do something incredibly awkward and called it “my design”. The same person that told me “try to take reference from last year video” told me the new one is kinda follow a pattern and try something new. After so much research and time to propose new and innovative ideas, in the end I did EXACTLY what I’m told to do. I now have to handle this project that I have consistently told people that I might NOT be able to do. As Heidi Klum ingeniously put it “You are a designer, you are NOT a dress-maker”. These days i don’t feel very much like a designer anymore.
I would like to think I’m a down to earth person. I don’t mind lying down on the floor fixing table (which I did till 730pm everyday last week) or standing under the sun fixing some torch and decoration out. It didn’t even cross my mind until Ria (whom I called “slutty receptionist”, more on her next episode) asked me if I mind, because you know, normally second upper degree students with Dean List cert don’t do this kinda shit. I don’t mind, really. But sometimes, I really do hope our work get appreciated a little bit more. Of course people say thank you and we appreciate you and all that. But sometimes the action doesn’t really match. Appreciation needs not come from nice words. It comes from action (Like nice food while we are working, thanks Michael I know you won’t be reading this but I love ya). Which makes me wanna talk about my newest colleague: Ivan.
So there’s Ivan, the new travel director. He’s dynamic and he talks a lot (Think twice the amount and twice the speed of what I talk. I know, and you thought it was impossible). But then again he’s a good salesman. He can really sells. So he wanted me to do his website (that means a 23 year-old fresh out of college kid kicks a 30+ year old experienced web-designer ass). And you know what, to him, I’m the absolute I.T. GOD. I’m not kidding you. He consulted me everything IT related and he actually LISTENS. He didn’t even bargain the quotation on the website. He even asked “Can I steal you from your division to do my IT?”, which, of course, I laughed it off politely as if he was joking. Oh and he boasted about me to every third party provider he talked to, like “We have this really good IT expert in our company”. It’s flattery, but it showed appreciation, and trust, and commitment to what he promised (so far all the designs have been moving quite fast). He never said “nice effort, but…” he said “well done, I’m impressed”. And sometimes you just needed JUST THAT to boost your energy to keep going.
Oh well, I’m bitching endlessly again. I think I think too much. It’s just I’m the kind of guy that is willing to go beyond what I am SUPPOSED to do. I want to be EXTRA-ORDINARY. I don’t want pay checks or steady bonus (ok I do want them but they are not top priority). I want to be able to look back at my work and my life and have something I could be proud of, I could call my own. I was busy as hell these days and I did a lot of things. And I look back and asked myself “Jeez, do I even want to call these MINE?”
(Bitching to be continued)