When I was young, there are 3 things that I believe in: Dreams. Honesty. Love. And even though they are being challenged every day now, those things are still the things I seek.
Part 8: Compromises
OK I know I owe you all part 7b but I just found a perfect closing for this chapter. So that 7b part shall wait, ok? 
I sort of got an unofficial “so called’ promotion. Unofficial because there is no title change and there was no announcement made. “So called” because there will be no change in position or pay (so DO NOT ask me for treats). It’s just a ton more work and a new staff to babysit. It’s IT helpdesk and all, which I’m not exactly good at given I hate Computer Engineering and Programming. So why did I do it?
Obvious answer would be I’m an idiot. However, the way I see it, I had an opportunity. And if you know me I’m not the kind of guy that scream and shout for an extra few hundreds a month, as long as I’m comfortable with my life and so far it’s been alright. It’s a signal of appreciation and recognition, and a chance for me to learn new things.
So Kok Wei, the new staff, saw what I was doing (like 3 person job with 2 pairs of hands) and he was kinda scared. “You won’t quit so soon, will you?”. He asked. Which is hilarious given he just said moment earlier that “This is a killer job” (2 persons quited, the later one only after 3 weeks). I told him what I told others “I’m not sure, but maybe for the next 3 months I won’t, because I’m committed to complete a few projects and I give them 3 months top”. I reviewed my options every 3 months, and as long as I’m still learning, I’m still moving forward, I’m not quitting.
But then again who can be so sure. I’ve been suffering tremendous stress these days and stuffs keep coming in everywhere. I can do it, certainly (cos I’m you guys’ favourite smart ass). It’s just I don’t have time to do ALL OF IT. Sometimes I just don’t really appreciate certain things, like the inevitable politics, or the inevitable work tension. David was right. Once you move up there are certain freedom you have to surrender, certain things you have to let go. Sometimes I really feel stuck in between, with people pushing me around and even when I stretch to my max, I cant satisfy anyone. I’ve been managing it well, but sometimes I feel myself as a timed bomb, ready to explode in someone’s face.
Well, anyway, I want to be extraordinary. Being a hybrid half artist half business man as I am, since I cant be an excellent artist yet, I shall strive to become an excellent business man. And it starts with compromising. I’m still learning.
When I was young, there are 3 things that I believed in: Dreams. Honesty. Love. In reality those are not so simple to find. So we just have to deal with it. Of course I’ll still be searching for them, but I’ll make compromises and “good enough” choices along the way. There are 3 things, though, that I will NEVER EVER compromise: my integrity, my friends and my creativity. The moment any of these is forced to be crossed over, I’ll throw in the towel and quit. And if you know me, I mean it. I quited on a lot of things before, even the really good tasty deals, not because I cant take it, just because I want to stay as myself.
So rest assure no matter how many “so called” promotions I have or how far I go, your Pace will forever be the same uncompromising man