Part 7: Life takes Changes
Sound like a VISA ads campaign, but it’s true. Life changes. We change. Evolution and Revolution happen. There’s no escaping it.
The people that we talked to changed. The people that we laughed with changed. The people that we cried with changed. The people that we shared our deepest secrets changed. The people that we love, changed.
Family is coming tomorrow. It’s a nice warm reminder of how beautiful life is, to be loved and cared for.
Dad’s tumor is still there. I’m worried of course. He will have his operation after the trip. They said it was not cancer, but since it is in his neck, it can be a dangerous operation. People get old and their health changes, I know. But I’m not ready to see Dad sick. I haven’t done enough for him yet.
I cant imagine how tall my brother is now. Mom said he’s already taller than 1.50m. He sounds so excited over the phone. It’s a whole new world for someone so young. When I was 12 the furthest I thought of was from my house to my seaside town. And that was my “whole world”
Q knitted me a handphone pouch. There’s this thing about this particular girl (hope all my other gal friends are not jealous) that when she does something for me, it made me feel all warm and small. As if the big stormy guy with all the rage is non-existent. It’s either a calligraphy, a handmade card, or a letter, they never failed to make my days a little better. Jean said to her own surprise “I’m glad you had somebody to love, since you always sound so…unsentimental and cold”.
I went out for a business meeting with Terence. Behind the childish, grumpy front that he puts up, he’s actually very human. Respectable and relatable. Still don’t wanna be him, but I look up to him as always.
I wanted to tell my best friend that I had a job offer, that I’m scared shitless that my dad might be sick, that I’m terrified at the idea of being alone. I want to say how much I miss splitting fishballs, eating durians and bitching about how ridiculous this fucked up world is. But I close the window I open MSN. Time to let it go. We all change. Time to grow up.
And thank you Larry for being my listening ears these days. Sorry for all the troubles you went through to get my stuffs.
I always allow myself to be a little vulnerable before I need to be strong. My world isn’t perfect. However, in the next 9 days, I’ll have to show how perfect it is to my parents. It’s not perfectly ethical. It’s not perfectly truthful. It’s something we all call…
….Love.