Part 1: The turn
I’ve been thinking (normally it’s a bad sign). And I sort of made a decision for the next few months.
When I was waiting at the airport and my parents haven’t called, I prayed. I’m not much of a man of prayers, but I did pray. I prayed for my parents to be here safely, to have a very good trip and to return home safely. I know I was not supposed to ask Buddha for stuffs, but as long as it’s from love and kindness, I’m sure he doesn’t mind helping out a little. Lol.
I decided to switch back to vegetarian. It was a little difficult today, but I got through it alright. Normally when I eat vegetarian is that I’m feeling unwell or uneasy. Not this time. This time I just wanted to do something to become a better person. After all Buddhists are not supposed to kill.
Normally I will only turn to Buddha or religion when I had some big drama or I want to kill myself. Not this time. I realized I was silly to just remember who I am when I’m faced by crisis of identity. This time I want to be a better Buddhist, a better person because I’m happy and I want to appreciate the path that I’m taking in the guidance of my great (mortal) teacher.
Who can believe it’s already been 5 years since I left home. With my weird personality and flamboyant nature, I naturally got into bigass dramas. I got depressed once in a while. There were moments in my life I thought of killing myself. But I got through it all. Every time I got through one thing I became stronger and better things happen. Family happened. Best friends happened. NOC happened. Wavelink happened. They all happened for a reason, cause and effect, of how I lived and how I treated people. So I’m grateful I’m where I am today. I’m grateful I’m alive, happy, and loved.
What else worths celebrating more than that? Since I’m a Buddhist I shall celebrate that by being a better Buddhist. No more killing, no more lying (will limit on the swearing but no promise), no more alcohol (this would help the belly too. I’m 76 kg now. lol), no stealing and no affairs with people’s wives (fiances maybe. J/k). I’m gonna let go of things that is and people that were.
So this is the path I’m gonna take. This journey of my life is gonna be long (unless I got hit by a car). I’m gonna follow the path the leads me to righteousness and happiness.